LMN 2-19-15 Ewe know it is the Year of the Sheep?

LMN 2-19-15 Ewe know it is the Year of the Sheep?

LMN 2-19-15 Ewe know it is the Year of the Sheep?

Happy Chinese New Year to you and the Chinese government official currently hacking into my news blog. It’s the Year of the Sheep, but it’s going to take a few days for me to stop writing “Snake” on all my checks. I forgot to get firecrackers this year – you’re supposed to toss them out your door to ward off evil spirits and bad luck. Yes, I bother with traditions from a country with nuclear missiles aimed at us.

Here we go again, nearly 100 patients may have been exposed to a drug-resistant Super Bug at Ronald Reagan UCLA Medical Center. THANKS A LOT, REAGAN. Wonder what they’re distracting us from this time? Good thing it is the Year of the Sheep, we're gonna fit right in!

A survey says the approval rating of Congress is up to 20%. Probably because the number of congressmen included in the survey is up 20%.

Grizzly bears at Yellowstone National Park are emerging from hibernation a month early. Park visitors should avoid the bears because if they're anything like me when I’m woken up early; people risk being mauled or yelled at for leaving dishes in the sink overnight.

Pat Robertson says that Facebook is a tool of the devil. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present unto you the official last person on the planet to figure that out.

And a few things you need to know …

On this date in 1881, Kansas became the first state to ban booze. No wonder the Wizard wanted out.

On this date in 1935, Tennessee voted to keep their anti-evolution laws. We’re still not sure if that blocked the theory from being taught in schools, or if Vol fans had to stop evolving.

The Washington Monument is shockingly ten inches lower than before. The equipment manager for the New England Patriots says this is totally not his fault.

Director Michael Bay is making a movie out of the Benghazi attack.* “Benghazi” has been thrown around so much it’s lost all meaning. Like last night, I completely Benghazied dinner.

And … Miley Cyrus’ home is for sale. You can find out more from the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention under the Freedom of Information Act.

*Andrew Bellware you just stop right there. I can SEE you getting ready to post something about this.

Recommended Posts

Loading...