LMN 2-24-15 Snow makes me angry.

LMN 2-24-15 Snow makes me angry.

LMN 2-24-15 Snow makes me angry.

With the threat of snow continuing, crazed shoppers have turned the milk and bread aisles of Publix into their own personal Benghazi. I always buy MY milk sandwiches pre-made. I don’t want to issue an ultimatum here but either the winter goes, or I go!

There is a specific terror threat against U.S. shopping malls. Be vigilant! If you're at the mall and you SEE something, SAY something. Unless you're at LensCrafters. In that case, ask someone who can actually SEE to verify whatever you THOUGHT you saw.

BREAKING NEWS – they have changed the date of the World Cup from Summer to Winter! Remember the World Cup? Soccer? When millions of Americans left work early to watch countries they’ve never heard of play a sport they don’t care about.

And a few things you need to know …

In 1903 the United States acquired a naval station at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Cuban officials said negotiating the contract was torture.

There’s a new Dr. Seuss book coming out in July, and yes, it has been over 20 years since he died. This guy’s the new Tupac. Working titles include; “How the Grinch Stole a Story Idea” and “Abercrombie the Zombie.”

Starbucks has launched a home delivery service. Perfect for the ultimately lazy person who can't even brew their own.

TLC is working on a spinoff of “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.” My only question – why?

Little Caesar's has introduced a new Bacon Wrapped Crust Deep! Deep! Dish Pizza with basically 3.5 feet of bacon wrapped around the crust. Bacon is like the duct tape of the kitchen – it fixes everything. And if it can’t – you should probably just throw it away.

And … One of my fellow Samford University grads has made Baron’s list of top financial advisors in America! Jeff Roberts again made the top 5 advisors in Alabama on the national list. He also owes me lunch and didn’t attend my birthday party – DESPITE being personally invited. NOR did he get his amazing handler Julie a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes for HER birthday this month. Let’s see … Jeff is in Baron’s magazine while another Samford grad, Tony Hale, won a freaking EMMY AWARD. Let me just say – thanks for making ME look bad guys. Actually – I only work 4 hours a day while those guys are hoofing it all day long. Yeah, take that boys. Work smarter!

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