There are some new Apple thingies hitting the market, which means your old Apple thingies now look completely junky and dull. The awesome new Apple thingies do the same things as your crappy old Apple thingies, but they come in different sizes! One of the new Apple watches is TEN GRAND. It not only tells you the time (in the, like, single hour of battery life it has) but it also tells you that you’re making way too much money.

People to the east were excited about the time change over the weekend because, with the longer days, it gives them more of a chance to see all that snow.

The city of Birmingham reports that over 1 billion dollars in capital investments have poured into the city since 2010. Yet they still can’t fix the broken sidewalks in Southside.

Brian Williams supposedly asked to take over for Jay Leno when he left the Tonight Show, but NBC said “No way.” This is apparently true … even if Brian Williams reports on it. By the way, Williams says he and Harrison Ford were lucky to survive that plane crash.

A study says that short naps may improve the health of people who are not getting enough sleep. Really? You needed a study to figure that out? This is the kind of thing that keeps me awake at night. You know, I need a nap.

Maybe THIS will finally free us from the irritating clutches of Daylight Saving Time: studies show this time change actually costs MORE by using extra energy.  So ignore the facts that DST caused more accidents and injuries because we’re all walking around like zombies, the environmentalists will get involved if we prove it’s hurting the planet and the rest of can stay on a set sleep schedule.

I forgot – Yesterday I had a story about replacing Alexander Hamilton on the $20 bill with a famous woman. Andrew Jackson is actually the dead guy on the 20. One day I’ll sit down and memorize which president goes with which bill. This was the least of my screw-ups yesterday. I blame the environmentalists for not putting a stop to Daylight Saving Time.

And … A HUGE Thank you to Daniel and Amy from Solid Rock monograms – check them out on Facebook for their monogramming and applique work! After all the zombies we have filmed doing “Red Season,” they made an official Zombie Response Team shirt for me. At last I’m official! It is super cool – thanks guys!