Sláinte! Today is the anniversary of the death of St. Patrick, who, according to legend, drove all the snakes out of Ireland. Of course, that was back when gas was only 1 cent a litre so he could afford to drive them all over the place. He went a bit far driving them all right into Washington D.C. though. While I know there’s no way to prevent everybody from doing it, I would appreciate it if you didn’t celebrate every year the day that I died.

The White House says it’s not bound by the Freedom of Information Act and is does not have to release any records it doesn’t want to. This administration is about as transparent as a brick wall encased in concrete during a total solar eclipse.

The NSA has omitted Iran from the terror watch list. Apparently they thought it was a new Apple product. (The iRan? Maybe a fitness tracker)?

A working meth lab was found in the restroom of a Wal-Mart in Indiana. That explains the big eyes on the store’s smiley face and why the store greeters were yelling and scratching.

And a few things you need to know …

On this date in 1776, British forces evacuated Boston. Well, the war, and all that snow…

After an annoying winter, spring is almost here! You can tell because in Boston, you can ALMOST see the top of the snow and Wal-Mart is getting their Christmas stuff back out.

Bruce Jenner’s son, is expecting his first child (with whoever his wife is). Depending on where he’ll be in transition that means Bruce will soon become a grand … something.

Paul McCartney’s ex, Heather Mills, is calling him “non-relevant.” All together now: “She hates you, yeah, yeah, yeah!”

American Horry Story fans are saddened by the news Jessica Lang will NOT return to the show. Granted, Lang is an acclaimed actress, but younger audiences didn’t know her until she exploded with AHS? Now she wants to leave? Proof that everything happens for a reason … but sometimes that reason is that you make terrible decisions.

And … I leave you and yours today with a classic Celtic toast:
May the winds of fortune sail you,
May you sail a gentle sea.
May it always be the other guy who says, “this drink’s on me.”

Remember; it’s hard to toast when you are too drunk to speak, so toss back an ounce or two of common sense tonight.