LMN 4-14-15 That logo really IS sillery.

LMN 4-14-15 That logo really IS sillery.

LMN 4-14-15 That logo really IS sillery.

mehClinton

It’s Tax Day Eve! Do you open your wallet tonight or wait till morning? Before you try to do your own taxes, remember the grades you used to get in math.

Florida Senator Marco Rubio has announced he’ll run for president. Hillary supporters don’t consider him a serious threat. In fact, when they heard about Marco, most simply replied, “Polo!” I don’t really buy his official campaign slogan of, “Hillary? Don’t be Silliry.” So now we’ve got him, Cruz, the Hildabeast, Walker, that other guy – it’s like Game of Thrones! Quit adding characters!

ISIS is at it again, destroying historic monuments in the ancient Iraqi city of Nimrud. In 15 seconds, ISIS did more damage to ancient artifacts than Clark Griswald and his family did in all of “National Lampoon’s European Vacation.”

The White House was put on lockdown yesterday because intruding onto the grounds is so easy a toddler could do it. In fact, one just did. The second toddler to breach the fence in 8 months. Don’t laugh — this one was carrying a dirty bomb … in it’s diaper. The kid’s parents profusely apologized to the Secret Service agents for breaking up their beer-pong game. You know there’s now a fence around the fence to keep people off the White House grounds? Guess we’ll have to put up a third fence to keep people away from the other fence around the first one.

And a few things you need to know …

On this date in 1894, a “peep show” device invented by Thomas Jefferson, was introduced to the public. Well, at least the public that liked to look at privates.

It’s also the anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic – where all on board were nominated for the ice bucket challenge.

Experts say because of our horrible winter, this allergy season will be worse than ever. So allergy and asthma people just take a deep breath … and hold it till August.

In Germany, a 65-year-old woman is pregnant—with quadruplets! Of course, the big question—where were the parents?

Does anyone really care about the Bruce Jenner/Diane Sawyer interview where Jenner will discuss what may be the most expensive sex-change procedure in history? Well, if you don’t count the $125 million Hillary Clinton is going to spend to try turn Bill into the First Lady.

And… It actually wasn’t Carnival this time. Over 200 people have been sickened on a pair of cruise ships headed to San Diego. Norovirus again. If you want the cruise ship experience but can’t afford to go, just lock yourself in a port-a-potty for a week.

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