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LMN 4-15-15 Happy Tax Day!

LMN 4-15-15 Happy Tax Day!

LMN 4-15-15 Happy Tax Day!

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It’s tax day! I’m told you never appreciate your kids more than when you are doing taxes.

Hillary announced she’s running. Bill announced he’s not chasing. She is currently barnstorming through Iowa riding in a creepy panel van she calls “Scooby.” Because nothing says “serious business” like a windowless van that may or may not be filled with candy. Still, #Vanghazi is better than the last election when Hillary campaigned through Iowa riding a broomstick.
She might have some competition from her own party soon; Former Governor and 2 time senator Lincoln Chafee is considering the presidency. Chafee was a republican for 8 years, but NOW he is a Democrat. No wonder some people don’t like Obama; the only reason he ever reaches across the aisle is to take hostages!

Former NFL running back Lawrence Phillips reportedly murdered his cellmate this week in a California prison. See, Aaron Hernandez? Being in prison doesn’t mean you won’t be able to pursue your hobbies!

President Obama has dropped Cuba from the terror watch-list. Oh goody, so there is an opening?

And a few things you need to know …

On this date in 1738, the bottle opener was invented. Civilization waited around a long time to finally figure out a way to open bottles.

Someone dressed as Cookie Monster was arrested for groping a tourist in Times Square. Fact: His creator was Doctor Cookie. See, that’s a Frankenstein reference that three people just got but didn’t laugh at.

Police in India are hoping to find the person who robs businesses of their toilet paper. The thief takes nothing else. The police say they have nothing to go on. For that matter, so do the business owners.

And … They are finally coming out with new versions of Guitar Hero and Rock band! Make sure to get your affairs in order before their releases, because you won’t be very productive after that. So there is a Clinton running for president, a new Guitar Hero game, a new Rock Band game? What year is it, 1992? Or 2006? I’m confused, but I once sang Cheap Trick on the expert level. I’m sure my parents are thrilled with my life choices because of it.

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