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LMN 7-16-15 It’s kinda newsy in here today

LMN 7-16-15 It’s kinda newsy in here today

LMN 7-16-15 It’s kinda newsy in here today

Time to get out and hit those After Amazon Prime Day Sales – oh wait. That defeats the purpose.

Everyone is criticizing the nuke deal we reached with Iran. The CIA sold them 12 nukes for the price of 6. Hey – did you know in Iran there is a MASSIVE fear of spiders? But over in Iraq, no phobia.

Facing economic collapse, Greece votes to tighten its belt and must cut some of the freebies they’ve been handing out. Greek citizens reacted to the news with quiet dignity and grace. Just kidding, they rioted and threw Molotov cocktails at cops.

Piñatas that resemble Donald Trump are on sale in Mexico. In fact, there are more of them than you can shake a stick at. A lot of polls have Donald Trump at the top of the Republican presidential candidates. However, a lot of supporters believe it’s possible he could lose by a hair.

The Atlanta NAACP wants to tear down a mountain. Stone Mountain in Georgia because of confederate images. Flag supporters would organize a counter rally but can’t get off work.
Meanwhile, Wal-Mart says it will melt down any class rings that feature the Confederate flag. The best part of this is that once they do; all hate and ignorance will vanish! And yes; the online petition to change Cracker Barrel’s name to “Caucasian Barrel” is a joke. They’re going with “Honkey Bucket.”

And a few things you need to know …

On this date in 1439, the British government tried to stop an epidemic by making it illegal to kiss. When lip locking is outlawed, only outlaws will lock lips!

Actor Corey Feldman turns 44 today, despite his best efforts.

The pictures of Pluto are stunning. I wonder which magazine is going to pay for the unretouched “before” photos.

And … happy anniversary to my awesome parents! A couple who, somehow, prevented me from getting “shaken baby syndrome.” May you, one day, be able to reach an understanding on which default cup size the Keurig should be set.

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