Tomorrow is the official release date of Windows 10. I’m half excited, while the other half of me expects Arnold Schwarzenegger to return from the future to tell me, “Don’t do it!”

Turkey is now enforcing a virtual ISIS no fly zone around its border with Syria, where ISIS has been launching attacks on Turks. A “no fly zone” for ISIS? Shouldn’t those guys be on the “No Fly List” in the FIRST place?

Those five service members killed by that freaknick in Chattanooga aren’t eligible for the purple heart unless the FBI determines the shooting was an act of terror. OK, ISIS claimed responsibility almost immediately and said, “Oh yeah, the shooter is totally one of us” but we’re just not sure this was an act of terror? Seriously? I’m sure it was just more “workplace violence.”

Having solved all our real problems, President Obama is giving Pell Grants to prisoners. Oh sure we’ve got veterans who are out of work and can’t see a doctor within a month but let’s make sure felons have Pell Grants. I’m all for anyone getting an education but this is a slap to anyone who spent money on college. If you took out a student loan; you did it wrong, chump. You should have just knocked over the liquor store, and boom! Free education money!

Crikey! 13 new species of spiders have been discovered in Australia’s Northern Territory. This may have occurred because some vengeful deity is punishing Australia for their oil-can-sized beer cans, koalas and incomprehensible slang.

And a few things you need to know …

It’s the Star Spangled Banner’s birthday. Congress approved it as our official national anthem on this date back in 1931. I once wrote a national anthem, but no one would stand for it.

On this date in 1900, the hamburger was said to have been created. Until that point, the Hamburglar was pretty bored and had nothing to steal. There were some who relished the idea, others, in time, would ketchup.

Several huge movies are expiring on Netflix … your heart will go on but “Titanic” and others will not. I find the most important part of any TV/Movie recommendation is “It’s on Netflix.”

It’s been revealed there’s a secret, fortified bunker dug deep beneath the White House. I don’t know exactly how deep it is, but one White House source claims it’s lower than Donald Trump’s Hispanic approval rating. It’s where the VP was taken during the 9/11 attacks and is now where Obama goes to smoke and hide his junk food from Michelle.

Police in Sweden held Snoop Dogg for a while on suspicion of drug use. Suspicion? How high do you have to be to NOT know Snoop Dogg is high?

Tonight is “peanut free” night at Regions Field so those with food allergies can watch baseball without, you know, dying. Sometimes I think things like peanut allergies are a way of thinning the herd. I once dated a guy with peanut allergies … I held ALLLL the power in that relationship. “Oh, whoopsie! I can’t remember if there are peanuts in that or not.”

And … A new study shows that sarcastic people are brighter and more creative than everyone else. Because we needed validation of that. Sarcasm is an art; if it were a science, we’d all have PhDs.

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