LMN 7-30-15 Lisa’s Morning News?

LMN 7-30-15 Lisa’s Morning News?

LMN 7-30-15 Lisa’s Morning News?

I think a lesson to learn here is never let a Minnesota dentist plan your trip to Africa. Because I mentioned that you really have to do your research before spending a giant bag of money on a big game hunt to ensure legality, a couple people think I’m pro lion-murdering. Not at all! I cried during Lion King because Bad Things happened to the lions. I’m also extremely upset that the lion we love that we didn’t even know existed till the other day was slaughtered.

Meanwhile, a Missouri man shot and killed a 15 foot long Burmese python that was eating pets in his yard. This comes on the heels of THIS discovery; a record 18 foot long python was just found in the Everglades. Researchers killed it and posed with its dead body. Good thing they weren’t dentists!

They found part of a plane on Reunion off the coast of Madagascar and think it could be MH370. They “think?” Exactly how many lost 777s are out there? That sound you hear is CNN falling over itself to get to its file footage.

Chinese hackers got inside the computer system at United Airlines and disrupted their system so much, several of their flights actually on time!

A New York man named Arafat M. Nagi has been arrested for supporting and trying to join ISIS. Did the first name “Arafat” make authorities suspicious? Yassir it did!

And a few things you need to know …

On this date in 1729, the city of Baltimore was founded. I didn’t know it was ever losted.

In 1956, “In God We Trust” became the official U.S. motto, replacing the previous one, “In whom do we trust?” I’m surprised no one has tried to repeal that yet.

NBA all-star Gilbert Arenas has been banned form the Orange County fair after winning a ridiculous amount of stuffed animals for his kids by playing hoops. I’m just shocked that a carnival basketball game can really be WON!

The number of Americans not using the Internet (referred to as “InterNOTS”) has been staying steady at around 15%. These are the people that, when they like something, they don’t click a button.

The Governor of Oklahoma is being pressured to make her daughter move, because tax payers don’t like the daughter living in the trailer she parked on the grounds of the Governor’s mansion. The trailer’s hooked to the mansion’s power and water. No matter how high you rise in life, someone in your family will go full-redneck on you.

Gisele Bundchen donned a burka to hide her identity while entering a Paris plastic surgery clinic. Burkas are banned in France and wearing one with kicky open-toed sandals would get your head sawed off if you were actually a Muslim woman. But everyone wants to know what “work” the retired supermodel “had done.” Apparently footballs aren’t the only things deflated in the Brady household.

And … Stand by because tomorrow we’ll announce the official local screening of my movie, Lullaby Procedure! I’m on The Edge of my seat to tell you! The info will be released on my radio show first, of course, but I’ll plug it here as well because my sole foreign reader and the girl who wants you to make $900,000 working from home don’t know I have a morning show.

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