LMN 8-6-15 Where will you get your fake news now?

LMN 8-6-15 Where will you get your fake news now?

LMN 8-6-15 Where will you get your fake news now?

The republican debate is tonight. You have to watch if you want to understand any of the jokes here tomorrow. What can we expect to see? At least 8 people talking over each other at a time, Chris Christy breaking down and having a pizza delivered, Donald Trump giving out everyone’s phone number and plenty of pants on fire.

A movie theatre attack in Antioch Tennessee, only the bad guy was killed this time but CNN reported that one of the theatergoers “had a minor hatchet injury.” I tend to take hatchet injuries a little more seriously. Are these guys who attack movie theaters crazy or just working for Netflix? Scary! You used to have to be a president to get shot at a theater. Now, anyone can grow up to get gunned-down in a movie theater in the United States.

Malaysian officials say the recently found wreckage IS that of their missing plane, even though they are not involved in the tests. They couldn’t find the plane in the first place, how would they know if it was found NOW? Do they even know what it looks like?

A recent study says 60-percent of Americans are trying to avoid drinking soda. President Obama asked, “What’s the number when you include people who are trying to avoid getting caught drinking soda?”

And a few things you need to know …

It was this date back in 1890, the electric chair was used in New York for the very first time on convicted killer William Kemmler. Needless to say, he was shocked.

On this date in 1985, a bunch of whiney, complainey pants Major League Baseball players went on strike. While baseball fans called it a strike, football fans thought it was a ball.

It is official – Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy have broken up, it’s on both their twitter feeds. Why? Because Miss Piggy JUST found out Kermie was amphibious.

Blue Bell Ice Cream is IN PRODUCTION again in Sylacauga! They’re making a stockpile and it’ll be back in stores but without the key ingredient Listeria this time. Fun fact: “Listeria” is the stage name I use in my death metal band. OK I’m not actually IN a Death metal band, but if I WAS …

Another case of the bubonic plague has turned up in Colorado. Wow. I was going to take a trip there but I try to avoid infectious diseases like the plague.

Speaking OF … That guy at UAB Hospital they thought might have Ebola, doesn’t. He has malaria, which is still pretty awful but still usable as an excuse to get out of going to weekend weddings.

And … Remember; if you are upset over John Stewart leaving the Daily Show, you can always get your fake news right here from me.

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