LMN 9-10-15 OKOK, Here’s some news.

LMN 9-10-15 OKOK, Here’s some news.

LMN 9-10-15 OKOK, Here’s some news.

Donald Trump says Carly Fiorina won’t be president because of her looks. This from a puffy guy with a wilted Wembley Fraggle on his head?

The new iPhones are available for preorder this Saturday. They are made of an aluminum alloy used by the aerospace industry, which is great if you want to launch your phone into orbit. There’s also a new Apple TV, on which you can now play games. WOW! If only there were any other devices you could use to play video games on your TV. Thanks, Apple, for creating the new babysitters!

Queen Elizabeth II is now the UK’s longest reigning monarch. As Americans, it’s our birthright not to care about this.

Scientists plan to awaken a 30 thousand year old virus found frozen in Siberia … because they have never seen a single horror movie.

And a few things you need to know…

On this date in 1846, Elias Howe received a patent for his invention, the sewing machine. Kids, “sewing” is an old skill that involves needles. I think it has something to do with drugs.

In 1953, Swanson sold it’s first frozen TV dinner. I believe that’s still in our breakroom freezer.

The Matildas, the Aussie soccer team, is on strike so they might not play the US in Birmingham on the 20th. The ladies say they haven’t been paid in two months, want more money (read: “some”), better conditions and to not have everyone else but them profit from their hard work. Hey! I qualify to play for the Aussies!

A team exploring a cave in South Africa has discovered a new ancient human ancestor. Trump immediately made it his running mate.

And … Carnival Cruise lines having to fly 4 thousand people home after an engine fire. I’m not saying the ship was old but it was insured against piracy AND falling off the edge of the world.

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