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LMN 10-6-15 It’s Lisa’s Morning News!

LMN 10-6-15 It’s Lisa’s Morning News!

LMN 10-6-15 It’s Lisa’s Morning News!

Hillary Clinton says she’ll use executive privilege to enact gun control because she doesn’t know how Constitutional amendments work. Or that she’s not yet been elected. Or that she’ll probably be charged over that whole email thing.

A Florida Senate candidate admits to killing a goat and drinking its blood. He says it was after a weeklong spirit journey or whatever in the Mojave Desert. Oh sure, who hasn’t done that before? Are we really shocked a politician is a bloodsucker?

There is a scandal brewing in the world of fantasy football. I’m not remotely good at fantasy football but I’m GREAT at talking smack while playing it.

A 10 year old girl killed an 800 pound gator in Texas, using just a crossbow. Are we going to shut down her dental practice now?

And a few things you need to know …

On this date in 1889, Thomas Edison showed his very first motion picture. Unfortunately, what most people remember from that day is that popcorn was $5 a tub.

On this date in 1863, the first public bath opened in Brooklyn. Of all the places I’d like to take a bath in public, Brooklyn isn’t one of them.

Yesterday was world teachers’ day. Here’s to all the teachers who prepared me for this job by giving me detention.
American Apparel has filed for bankruptcy. They can’t even afford their own clothes anymore. Speaking OF clothes no one can afford … Paris Fashion Week just kicked off. MY version of fashion week is going an hour without spilling coffee on myself or fumbling a sharpie.

Ronda Rousey has made history as the first female to appear on the cover of Men’s Health Magazine. I guess the guy who originally told her “no” is still in recovery.

Reports say wildlife is now returning to the area wasted by radioactivity after the Chernobyl disaster of 1986. Granted, all the wildlife has three eyes, tentacles and glows in the dark but still, life finds a way

And … Disney is considering “surge” pricing; park admission would cost more on more desirable days, like weekends and vacation days. When I die I want my remains scattered at Disneyworld. And no, I don’t want to be cremated first.

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