LMN 1-26-16 Happy Australia Day, Mate!

LMN 1-26-16 Happy Australia Day, Mate!

LMN 1-26-16 Happy Australia Day, Mate!

Congrats on only being 12 cups of coffee away from the weekend! On to the headlines…

On this date in 1788, Australia was founded! To celebrate Australia Day, it is tradition to get drunk by 9:am and pass out somewhere in the back yard or end up naked in a beach riot. The following is a list of all the animals in Australia who won’t try to kill you:

(End of list)

The final Democratic town hall before the Iowa caucus was last night. Clinton and Sanders squared off while Martin O’Malley stared at his feet and took small sips of water for a few hours. Meanwhile, Ben and Jerry’s is out with a Bernie Sanders ice cream. “Bernie’s Yearning” (which sounds like an atrocious romance novel) is chock full of nuts and the guy in line behind you has to pay for it.

The east coast is still digging out of snow. The new trendy winter sport is watching people slip and fall in the snow.

Georgia-Born hip hop artist B.o.B blew up Twitter with claims that the Earth is flat and we’re all being tricked by a vast conspiracy. What an “edgy” claim!

Waffle House is offering candlelight dinners on Valentine ’s Day. Sorry, “scattered, smothered and covered” sounds more like something a serial killer would do.

And … Today is the 33rd anniversary of the death of Coach Paul Bear Bryant. And it’s not a state holiday why?

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