Donald Trump is pulling out of tomorrow’s debate and that has started a massive Twitter feud between him and Fox news. ISIS has claimed responsibility for forcing us to listen to this inane bickering.

8 members of the militia in Oregon have been arrested after a shootout during a traffic stop. What were they doing outside of that gift shop they took over? A well-regulated militia just cruising down to Walgreen’s for some snacks?

The Fairfield Walmart is closing. Where is everyone going to wear their pajamas now?

And a few things you need to know …

On this date in 1951, the atomic testing era began as the Air Force dropped a 1 kiloton bomb in Nevada. Wow, they really wanted whatever happened in Vegas to stay there.

On this date in 1984, Michael Jackson set his hair on fire filming a commercial. May you live twice as long as Michael Jackson but be only half as creepy.

A Washington state teen nearly killed himself playing the “Duct tape” challenge, where you try to escape from duct tape. Do guys like this realize that the Darwin Award is not a cash prize?

Are you wearing house shoes or pajamas during carpool? That’ll get you in trouble with a picky principal over in England. He got so fed up watching a parade of pajama-wearing parents dropping off the kids that he sent nasty dress code letters home. One day I want to open a breakfast cafe and the dress code will be ONLY PAJAMAS.

Everywhere you turn someone is begging you to donate to their GoFundMe page or their Kickstarter project. A lot of people use Kickstarter to fund their independent film, because it’s TOTALLY normal to ask people to pay for your expensive hobby. (We didn’t use crowdfunding for Lullaby procedure – WHICH has been picked up in Tennessee and Kentucky yet banned in Germany. Go figure). Anyway, a guy in Great Britain raised thousands of dollars for his film protesting censorship. Called “Paint Drying,” the film is 10 hours … of paint drying. (Oops! #SpoilerAlert). It’s still better than “Mad Max: Fury Road.”