LMN 2-19-16 Oscars, Leap Day, Selfie Death, Primary Thing

LMN 2-19-16 Oscars, Leap Day, Selfie Death, Primary Thing

LMN 2-19-16 Oscars, Leap Day, Selfie Death, Primary Thing

Happy Leap Day! Many businesses will be closed today in honour of February 29th not being a real day anyway. (I’m lying, go to work). I can’t believe it’s been 4 years since I told you the same leap year joke.

Today is also Super Tuesday Primary eve! Do you open your disappointment tonight or wait till morning? Go vote tomorrow unless you’re going to do something crazy stupid, in which case, stay home.

Disney is announcing seasonal pricing at their parks. Pay more to stand in long lines and maybe ride 5 rides? Yay? Anyway, I do want my remains scattered over Disney World when I die – I also don’t want to be cremated first.

A city in India has created “Selfie Free Zones” after and alarming number of people died trying to take pictures of themselves. NO! Don’t ban selfies in precarious places! Some dumb dumbs are just doomed and need to stay out of the gene pool!

And … Here is the obligatory thing about the thing I didn’t watch last night.

The Academy Awards were Sunday! My prediction came true: I had to spend an hour Googling what any of the films were.

Best Picture went to something I’ve never heard of, Best Actress went to some chick from something else I don’t know (But her dress was pretty) and Leonardo DiCaprio FINALLY won Best Actor. When he rose to accept the award he was interrupted by Kanye West who said “Imma let you finish, but the new Star Wars guy is the best actor of all time. OF ALL TIME!”

The only thing I saw (part of) that won was Mad Max. It won for Best Costumes even though the wardrobe chick simply went to Burning Man and stole everyone’s clothes.

Oscar losers don’t fake a smile as well as the rest of us going to work on a Monday. Those actors who felt snubbed at last night’s show should really spend a day getting snubbed in an office like real people. Could we do a trade? I get to be Jennifer Lawrence for a day and she gets to come in here to tell poop jokes and play AC/DC? I wanted to boycott the Oscars, but I was dying to watch Chris Rock make fun of the people who boycotted the Oscars. The question of the night was, “IS Hollywood Racist/Sexist? Probably, I don’t know. I couldn’t even get in to the little Sidewalk Film Festival Downtown much less Hollywood.

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