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Mornings with Ray Gee & Kobe

Mon - Sat: 06:00 AM - 10:00 AM

LMN 3-9-16

LMN 3-9-16

LMN 3-9-16

President Obama is skipping Nancy Reagan’s funeral to attend the South by Southwest Music Festival. Weird. I thought having more republican funerals was at the top of Obama’s bucket list.

Trump won some stuff yesterday. Michigan still isn’t thrilled with Bill’s wife. Meh. It was all pretty dull. No one called anyone else a name or talked about body parts.

Today is national meatball day. I can’t believe management is making us work. Yesterday was national Pancake Day – I’ve been called out for not mentioning it was ALSO International Women’s Day because I was more excited about pancakes. To me it was just Tuesday. It IS great being a woman – we get rescued off of sinking cruise ships first!

Here we go again: Chipotle restaurants around Boston are closed after a bunch of people got sick. They charge extra for guacamole but the norovirus is free?

Your days of gloating about Apple products being virus proof are over. Apple has been hit with its first ransomware attack. The ransomware locks up your computer and you have to pay a fee to release it. Hmmm. This right after apple fights the FBI over unlocking iPhones? Coincidence? Yeah, probably. If the FBI REALLY wants to know how to spy on someone’s iPhone, they should just ask me. My boss left his in here and I’m totally reading his texts.

And a few things you need to know …

Five years ago, the space shuttle Discovery ended its career as the most flown U.S. spaceship, returning from orbit for the last time. If a 747 can carry a space shuttle on its back I’m calling shenanigans on the overweight baggage charge.

A new health study shows that sleeping too much OR too little is bad for the heart. Whatever, science. Last night I had a dream I finally got enough sleep.

If you’re one of the delicate precious flowers terrified of having your shows ruined – stay off the internet today for it is dark and full of spoilers. The new Game of Thrones trailer reveals a LOT. Probably. We think. The show is diverging from the books and now those of who read them can no longer feel smug. So you don’t have to worry about us spoiling it for you because we have no idea what is going on either at this point.

And … Look outside at this beautiful day – remember this splendid blue marble on which we live because it is ending. No, not because of nukes from Iran or North Korea – because some sick genius invented a personal butter sprayer! It is a stainless steel contraption, you insert a stick of butter into it, the butter melts and then you hit a button to spray it onto EVERYTING, including the palm of your hand to lick it off. Because you can. Now that we have acquired the power to spray warm butter on every object, it’s impossible to be limited to things that normally have butter on them. Energy drink? Have some butter with that. Gum? How about some butter. Oh look – there’s the dog. It wants butter too. The Earth grinds to a halt under our rising calorie count, this must be what Oppenheimer felt like. The war against Butter is over. Butter won.

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