LMN 3-14-16 Pi Day and Ink!

LMN 3-14-16 Pi Day and Ink!

LMN 3-14-16 Pi Day and Ink!

If you forgot to set whichever clocks don’t automatically update – you are an hour late. I just left the clock in my car the way it was because I never changed it last time. At least the time change unites us all in being extra grumpy today.

Florida Senator Marco Rubio is now running third in the polls in his home state of Florida. He’s expected to lose tomorrow’s primary but his mom says she’ll take him out for ice cream after anyway.

Danny DeVito has endorsed Bernie Sanders. It’s probably just a publicity stunt for DeVito starring in the remake of “Other People’s Money.” Meanwhile, Ben Carson endorsed Trump. It was the first time anyone paid attention to Carson’s campaign.

Every time I look up at my monitors here in the studio, there is a clip of a fight from one of the political rallies. When did we move beyond Thunderdome? It is like the US is playing a big game of Fight Club. Or did someone start the Hunger Games? I hope my district wins!

There’s a case of the Zika Virus in Kansas now. If Dorothy can click her heels to get back to Kansas, why can’t I click my flip flops together and get back to a beach in Tahiti. This is rigged. Meanwhile, due to the Zika Virus, ticket sales for the Rio Olympics have fallen off a financial cliff. The main difference between the winter Olympics and the summer Olympics is the winter Olympics have more sports that seem based on a drunken dare.

And a few things you need to know …

On this date in 1794, Eli Whitney patented the cotton gin, it wasn’t until later he patented the cotton tonic.
Today is Pi Day. 3.14! I wish the people going on about Pi Day here at work were that interested in math when it comes to dividing up our lunch tab.

Scientists have discovered a plastic eating bacteria. They could start eradicating all the plastic in landfills then maybe move on to the Kardashians?

The European and Russian Space agencies have launched an orbiter to search for sign s of life on mars. Congrats Mars! You are next in line as the planet we Earthlings will destroy!

Businesses are being warned to expect a productivity loss thanks to March Madness. I can predict all the big NCAA upsets just moments AFTER they happen. My coworkers won’t let me play in their little bracket game because last year I had Leonardo DiCaprio to win it all.

And … Got tattoos? Got a bunch of them? A new study says your immune system could be stronger as a result. Tattooing may stimulate the immune system in a manner similar to a vaccination, but ONLY if you have multiple tattoos. Now, scientists are not saying everyone go out and get full sleeves inked to ward off colds and flu but they’re not NOT saying it either. One doctor refutes the study saying too many tattoos lead to scarring and regrettable life choices forever on display. But if ink keeps you well and your husband doesn’t mind seeing your ex’s name stamped onto your tramp zone, knock yourself out. I don’t know if the study is accurate BUT my husband has several tattoos and is never sick. I have no tattoos and I’m sick all the time. Thanks for nothing, science.

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