On the campaign trail… Ugh. Trump’s attacking Clinton, Clinton’s attacking Trump and Sanders is still wandering around like Herbert West just reanimated a pile of your old laundry. That’s about it. Oh! The US Senate will again today fail to accomplish, compromise, succeed or otherwise not fail to get anything done.
North Korea test fires two more missiles they aren’t supposed to have. Hey – what’s the difference between a non-evil North Korean leader and a unicorn? One is fictional and the other is a horse with a single horn on its head.
Russia announces plans to build a permanent nuke-proof base on the Moon. They’ve been doing research and found bones on the lunar surface! Looks like the cow didn’t make that jump after all.
A jaguar that was part of the Olympic torch ceremony in Brazil, was shot and killed when it escaped its handlers. Hey, that is nothing Brazil doesn’t already do to some of its own people. Besides, now Olympic Jaguar can play in animal heaven with Cecil the Lion, that Gorilla and the 4 gators they killed in Orlando.
Have you seen the picture of the people dressed as angels blocking the Westboro Baptist Church (using that term QUITE loosely) protesters picketing funerals in Orlando? I say we just book all of the Westboro losers on a Carnival Cruise and let nature take its course.
A dramatic rescue at the South Pole is underway to evacuate a sick worker and evaluate a second at a US research facility. Some tense moments when the pilot of one of the choppers began shooting at an Alaskan Malamute that was running toward the US base. The pilot landed and accidentally dropped a thermite charge, destroying the chopper.
And a few things you need to know …
On this date in 1973 – Skylab astronauts splashed down safely in the Pacific after a record 28 days in space. One of them got a bit stir crazy up there – a real astroNUT.
Today is national Chocolate éclair day! It’s a good thing wine pairs so well with chocolate éclairs because I’d be paring them even if they were nasty together.
Yesterday was national selfie day. Remember; for every selfie that gets posted, thousands more are deleted. Let us all observe a moment of silence for this loss.
In China, a corporate trainer is in trouble for spanking 8 employees during a “team building” exercise. In front of their coworkers, he screams at the men and women “why were you ranked the lowest today” before repeatedly hitting them with a rod. The world is shocked, no clue why since China’s human rights record is as rare as a secure server in Hillary Clinton’s bathroom. Plus, some people pay good money for that kind of treatment on Craigslist.
Fitbit, those little tracker bands with which everyone is obsessed, has a new feature that reminds you to go to sleep. I have that feature built in – when someone calls a mandatory staff meeting.
And … There are NO terror ties to a trio of loons arrested in the Holland Tunnel. They were armed to the teeth driving a tricked out SUV and claimed to be on a vigilante mission to rescue a friend who was in the clutches of a drug dealer. They sound fun, although REAL friends would come to your rescue with super hero costumes, fireworks, vodka and glitter.
