Federal offices in DC are closed today; let’s see if anyone notices a difference. They’re panicking ahead of a snowstorm that’s coming tonight. Oh sure, they can make a snap decision when it concerns a day off.
With the threat of terrorism is so high; The Sochi Games could be the first Olympics ever where the opening ceremonies consists of the athletes of 100's of nations running serpentine into the stadium with their heads down. To be safe, maybe we should just play the opening ceremonies in reverse for the closing ceremonies. Apparently NBC Olympics host Bob Costas inferred that due to the threat of terrorism; he won't be "doing any sightseeing" at the Sochi Winter Games. Too bad he'll have to miss the World's Largest Ball of Murdered Newspaper Reporters or the Polonium Palace.
The two teams in the Superbowl are from states that legalized marijuana. Coincidence? Actually ... yes. Yes it is. Did you hear the decibel level in the Seahawk's stadium on Sunday? The #1 question in Seattle these days is: "What?" Experts say the fans were actually louder than the voices in Dennis Rodman's head. I already have my seats for the Super Bowl -- same couch I was sitting on for the playoffs. I can’t wait to see the Seattle Sensimilla-Hawks versus the Denver Buds.
Russian security forces are looking for a "Black Widow" female suicide bomber. This woman is believed to have already breached the security ring of the Olympic Games. Wanted posters describe the her as having a limp in her right leg, a left arm that does not bend at the elbow and a 4-inch scar on her cheek. Well, I can understand how she slipped through security. You just can't go around profiling all the women with gimpy right legs, non-bending left elbows and 4-inch scars on their cheeks. That would be totally unfair!
I don't want to say Coach Bill Belichick is still angry about the Patriots’ loss to the Broncos, but he just imported tap-water from West Virginia and sent it to Wes Welker’s house.
Political protests WILL be allowed at the Sochi Olympics. You just have to file an application to protest in pre-approved zones, same way it was handled at the 2008 Beijing Games. The Chinese government received 77 applications, yet NONE were approved! AS a bonus, all applicants were arrested. Oddly, these activists really could have made something of their lives if they HADN’T applied themselves.
And a few things you need to know …
On this date in 1793, France's King Louis the 16th was separated from his head. That was back when heads of state didn't necessarily retire with their heads.
On this date in 1998, former White House intern Monica Lewinsky admitted on tape that she had... well, let's put it this way: she said Hillary may be the first lady, but she wasn't the last.
And another “on this date” because I’ve got nothing today. In 1924, Russian revolutionary Vladimir Lenin died of a stroke. At first, they thought he was just showing support for the cause. "You're so red Vladamir ... uh, Vladamir?"
The political vendetta scandal swirling around Gov. Christie just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Today, Christie suggested giving the scandal gastric bypass surgery.
Almost nobody watched, but the SAG Awards were held over the weekend. It’s the one day a year an actress wants you to think of her when you hear SAG.
And … are you ready to get your Force on? J.J. Abrams says the script for the next "Star Wars" movie is done! Know what Jedi use to view their PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi.