LMN 4-16-14 Nothing to see here, move along. Forgot to pack the funny.
by Lisa Mason
posted Apr 16 2014 7:30AM
Time to get out and hit those “After Tax Day Sales,” also known as the “Pre-Audit Sales!” This should be "National Promise Never to Put Off Doing Taxes Until The Last Minute Again" Day.
It was perfectly clear last night, for NO Blood Moon. Thanks for nothing, sky! Just curious but if you go to Denny's and order the "Moon Over My Hammy" and then pour ketchup on it, is that a "Blood Moon Over My Hammy"? "Blood Moon" to me sounds like something that would happen on "Game of Thrones." No spoilers here but I read the books that the HBO show has mostly caught up to. You should have figured out by now never to attend a wedding held in Westeros.
Ukraine launched a military operation against pro-Russia separatists despite warnings from Moscow to leave the insurgents alone. By Easter Sunday, a full-on war could break out. Russian President Vladimir Putin told Ukraine, "We will Cadbury you."* Making matters worse in Ukraine, President Obama is sending Joe Biden to assist Secretary of State John Kerry in working out a diplomatic solution. It will be a critical break from Biden’s current assignment: watching Cartoon Network.
And a few things you need to know…
On this day in 1956, solar-powered radios first went on sale! Although they probably shouldn't have introduced them at night.
Beef prices have hit a record high. This is bad news for everybody except vegetarians and Dr. Hannibal Lecter. The CEO of Taco Bell says, "Our prices will stay the same; but the 'meat' might taste a little different." Industry analysts blame the soaring prices on the cost of funding the Bureau of Land Management's ongoing war against cattle ranchers.
Rapper Flavor Flav has copped a plea deal on domestic violence charges in exchange for avoiding a jail sentence. So, Flavor Flav will still have a clock around his neck, but he won't be doing time.
And … A team of scientists studying an ancient papyrus fragment that quotes Jesus Christ personally referring to "my wife," say it is not a fake. I guess what happens in Canaan doesn't stay in Canaan! So, we found Jesus's marriage license but we still can't find that missing plane?
* Khrushchev, Sting and Easter all in one reference! Hope you packed a lunch!