LMN 4-30-14 I thought the Dark Side had cake!
by Lisa Mason
posted Apr 30 2014 7:53AM
Now that the severe weather has left us, we can resume complaining about the pollen. Last night’s storms sparked heavy flooding in Florida. The real estate market there is now literally as well as figuratively under water. The flooding in the famous Foley outlet center is so bad; several locals are STILL stuck on the escalator.
LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling is banned from the NBA for life after making racist comments on tape. It was so offensive, even Paula Deen has unfollowed him on Twitter. The lifetime ban is considered the longest sentence in NBA history, because it includes the last minute of every 4th quarter. This guy’s a huge racist; I hear his whole klan is the same way. Sterling's world is crashing in around him. I mean, we all have our crosses to bear, but his are on fire.
Executions in Oklahoma are on hold after they managed to botch the execution of one inmate. How do you screw up an execution? Americans should know how to kill people by now!
The Ukraine Prime Minister is still saying Russia wants to start World War III. I'd rather they start World War Z because we've got Brad Pitt and know how that one turns out.
Breaking news while we were coping with severe weather: they found the plane. Kinda. Or they didn’t.
Pfizer is offering $100 billion for Astra Zeneca, who I believe is a shortstop for the Marlins.
And a few things you need to know …
On this date in 1789, George Washington became the first president of the United States. He began by blaming all of the country's problems on the previous administration.
This day back in 1904, the ice cream cone made it's world debut. And we don't get this day off as a holiday?
A new study says that stress is a major trigger of depression. That's depressing. Wow, suddenly I feel so stressed!
George Clooney is engaged. I believe if you check Revelation, you'll see that's one of the seven signs. His bride-to-be will have THE most amazing pre-nup in Hollywood history.
And … The cast of the new Star Wars movie is complete! Die hard fans are warning JJ Abrams NOT to screw the film up. What could he do to mess it up that Lucas hasn’t already done? Three words: Jar Jar Returns. Hey, while I’ve got you here …You know what you call a bounty hunter from Alabama? Bubba Fett! Laugh at my silly jokes you will!