February 27, 2015
11:25 pm

Lisa Mason in the Morning


LMN 6-16-14 No spoilers, except the bit about Iran.

by Lisa Mason posted Jun 16 2014 7:54AM
First, let be the first to say I’m sorry your company doesn’t offer bereavement leave because of the death of your favorite characters on Game of Thrones last night.
As the White House confers with Iran on what to do about Iraq, they’ve FINALLY evacuated the American Embassy in Baghdad. About time! That took longer than waiting on Jefferson County to close schools because it looks like rain. What does this mean for the US? An excuse to raise gas prices. SPOILER ALERT: President Obama says he’s optimistic that the uprising will finally get people to stop commenting about  Bowe Bergdahl. Those crazed extremists marching toward Baghdad paused this weekend for a little gruesome fun by beheading a local police chief, and using his head as a soccer ball.  Seems they should get a “red card” for that at least.
Speaking of soccer – One of my favorite parts of watching the World Cup is having to Google where half the countries are. The US today takes on Ghana in the World Cup. That’s the nation that eliminated us from the previous two World Cups, and they’re probably Ghana do it again. Meanwhile, there’s a government warning to beware of pickpockets during the World Cup; especially if you’re watching it in a bar on Southside.
The IRS says it can’t locate Lois Lerner’s emails prior to 2011. Why don’t they just ask the NSA A) where they are B) what was said over the phone that caused the emails to be deleted? So what will come of this? Absolutely nothing. Americans *might* be slightly annoyed for a minute before going back to Googling pictures of Kimye on Father’s Day.
And a few things you need to know…
In 1933, the FDIC was created. Before then, all bank commercials just ended with the word "member."
Harrison Ford was injured while filming the latest Star Wars movie. Witnesses say the injury was due to a Wookie mistake.
Matt Lauer has signed a multi-year contract extension. The answer to the question, "Where in the world is Matt Lauer?" would be, "the bank."
North Korea's dictator, Kim Jong Un, is criticizing the North Korean Meteorological Service for making inaccurate weather forecasts. Everybody in North Korea complains about the weather, but Kim can actually DO something about it. SPOILER ALERT: "AccuWeather Forecast," has just been changed to the "Execute-You Weather Forecast.” Now when a weatherman makes a 10-day forecast, he adds, "Tell my family I loved them."
And … The Chinese restaurant chain P.F. Chang’s confirms a security breach involving customers' credit and debit cards. When the hackers empty out those bank accounts, an hour later they're hungry for money again.
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Location : BaghdadJefferson County
06/16/2014 7:55AM
LMN 6-16-14 No spoilers, except the bit about Iran.
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