LMN 6-20-14 So exciting I fell asleep while typing
by Lisa Mason
posted Jun 20 2014 7:45AM
There’s a good chance Team USA will win the World Cup. All we need is for Portugal and Germany to get killed in one of the riots. Remember; if you see or hear anything you don’t understand this month, just assume it’s something to do with soccer. Last year's World Cup champs, Spain, were eliminated this week. This tournament has turned into a regular "Game of DeThrones." England could be the next team eliminated and the players are asking themselves some tough questions like, “Have you finished packing your bags yet?”
The Bureau of Labor Statistics says last year Americans spent about twice as many hours sleeping on weekdays in 2013 as they did working. We probably would have wedged in more sleep at work if it weren't for that darn Facebook thing.
Hey, remember this? Inmarsat, a satellite company, says search crews have looked everywhere BUT the spot where Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 went down. While this may seem glaringly obvious, what Inmarsat means is that crews basically ignored one area that was pinpointed. No one is making Flight 370 jokes anymore, it’s like the story’s fallen off everyone’s radar.
89 year old Hans Breyer was arrested in Philadelphia on charges he was a Nazi death camp guard. Standing trial in Germany, Breyer is being held in solitary confinement. Yep, he’s Hans Solo. Breyer reportedly worked at both Auschwitz AND Buchenwald. What? Did he get a transfer? “Say Hans, you’ve done such a goo- [EXPUNGED]. Yeah. I’m not even going to finish. I’m tired.
The Summer Solstice is tomorrow! Let’s celebrate like the Druids used to – skip work and hit the ‘Henge for a few drinks.
And … Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony's divorce is final. J-Lo is now free to do what she's already been doing.