LMN 6/27/14 "Let it Goal, Let it Goal."
by Lisa Mason
posted Jun 27 2014 7:53AM
I haven’t been posting since I dropped my laptop. Oh sure there’s a computer here at work but the internet is NOT available on the computer I use to write. It takes three yoga moves and a step ladder to get to the place to upload my news and frankly, who wants to go through all that just for a bunch of World Cup jokes? Anyway, what I’m trying to say is ... if you actually noticed I haven’t posted, thanks! But after a week of computer problems on TOP of my broken laptop, and three more soccer matches waiting on the DVR, I hope you don’t expect much in the news.
Congressional investigators say they’ve uncovered emails that show the I.R.S. was targeting a U.S. Senator. Sounds like it's about time for some more hard drive crashes.
Hillary Clinton's new book, "Hard Choices" isn’t selling well. Obviously, the decision to not write another book will be one of her easiest choices. Hey – did you hear producers are planning to stage a new musical about Bill Clinton? Let me suggest, "West Wing Story." "I like you to be in America, please vote for me in America. You’ll get stuff for free in America, if you vote for me in America.”
There have been so many illegal immigrants flooding into Texas that Doctors Without Borders has decided to stay home this year.
And a few things you need to know …
On this date in 1955, Illinois became the first state to require seat belts. Actually, in the first bill, it was seat belts and garters. Times were different.
Evangelist Pat Robertson says tattoos – even Jesus or scripture tattoos – are only for heathens. Well, I'm glad he finally cleared that up.
And… yes it’s time to talk soccer. Fleetwood Mac has a new hit out, “Don’t Flop Thinking About Tomorrow.” Meanwhile, conservative wackadoo Ann Coulter says “soccer is un-American." Oh please, when Americans watch soccer, the terrorists may not win, but they do tie and move into the knockout round. Remember – it’ not whether you win or lose but how a complicated point system forces certain teams to advance. If you missed it yesterday, the U.S. lost to Germany so they will advance to the knockout stage. Help me out here; why didn't we think to lose earlier? It could always be worse. With Ghana's disappointing World Cup performance, some players could be fired and end up digging for minerals in Ghana's mines. "Coooooooaaaaaallll!"