LMN 7-2-14 Guess I'll go back to pulling for Germany
by Lisa Mason
posted Jul 2 2014 8:06AM
So proud of Team USA for disappointing the haters and making it as far as they did in the World Cup. (I STILL wonder how Switzerland even has a soccer team, when all their fans are always so neutral. "Yay, we hope we win or lose! Or even tie!") Big deal Belgium knocked us out; at least we’re not a country known only for fancy waffles and putting mayonnaise on French Fries.
Arthur is expected to morph into a category 1 hurricane soon. Forecasters say he’ll drench the East Coast, but I don’t believe it. Everyone knows Arthur gets caught between the moon and New York City.
Tensions are very high in newsrooms across America, as editors and publishers battle over whether to call that Sunni extremist group in Iraq "ISIS," which stands for Islamist State of Iraq and Syria, or "ISIL," which stands for Islamist State of Iraq and the Levant. So maybe it's not ISIS, it might be ISIL. That's pretty crappy of ISIS. Their name says IS-IS when it ISN'T-ISN'T. Anyway, in the latest video from ISIL (or ISIS) they’re bulldozing a portion of the border between Iraq and Syria, while their leader exclaims, "There are no nationalities. We are all Muslims.” Really? We’re ALL Muslims now? I totally missed that! Crap, I’m showing my ankles and my hair isn’t covered. I’m about to get stoned and we’re not even in Colorado.
If you were in a coma yesterday, the Supreme Court ruled that private employers can refuse to pay for birth control on religious grounds. Let’s go tell the boss that working on Fridays is against our religion. In the stricter sects, Thursdays are also out. People are wondering how Hobby Lobby will survive protests while being closed on Sundays. Same way Chick-fil-A does? I honestly still don’t understand. There are other birth-control options offered by Hobby Lobby (though they encourage the use of one called “the headache”) so it’s not like they’ll have to close in 9 months when all of their female employees turn up pregnant. I’ve always had an employer with insurance and some things were covered better than others. Our old insurance didn’t cover what I call “anti-homicide pills” and several of us who took them just paid for them anyway. It would have been nice if they’d only been $5, but they weren’t. So what’s the deal? If someone doesn’t buy something FOR you, then buy it yourself. Dad’s been doing that every Christmas since forever.
And a few things you need to know …
On this date in 1566, Nostradamus died. Ironically, he never saw it coming.
It was on this date in 1937 that Amelia Earhart and her navigator disappeared over the Pacific Ocean. Ironically, their luggage went through to Pittsburgh.
Shia LaBeouf is heading to rehab due to his arrest last week. Frankly, I thought that should have happened after his last Transformers movie.
Ready for the 4th of July weekend? FEMA plans to hold its annual 6th of July fireworks show. Sure, it's late, but you and I paid for it, so we have to watch it. And ,,,This will be the first Fourth of July since Colorado and Washington State legalized recreational pot. They may skip the fireworks show and go right to the hot dog eating contest.
And … Bowe Bergdahl is slowly being reintroduced to the public with brief trips off the Army base at which he’s being treated. Not the first time he’s “ventured” off base. I’d give 5 Taliban members to never hear this guy’s name again.