LMN 7-8-14 Crowdfunding and quarterfinals
by Lisa Mason
posted Jul 8 2014 8:14AM
We’re pretty much down to the World Cup teams you can easily find on a map. Germany takes on Brazil today at 2 our time and Brazil is hungry to win the quarterfinal match – no seriously. Many of their people haven’t eaten in three days. Even though Team USA is long gone, millions of Americans have been watching the matches. Hopefully they’ll all find employment soon. I think the World Cup is a great way to learn about some countries of which we’re not as familiar. One of my friends has been cooking World Cup theme-dinners for her kids; when Germany plays she makes bratwurst, when America played – they left to go get takeout. When Brazil plays she makes a Brazilian dish and when South Korea played … her dog ran and hid under the bed. Don’t worry! Those of you who don’t like soccer only have about another week to wait till you go back to ignoring soccer for another 4 years.
The leader of the Iraqi terrorist group ISIL has released a new video in which he calls on Muslims to carry out a holy war against infidels. Notice, I called them ISIL and not ISIS. They USED to be called ISIS, until people figured out that backwards, it phonetically spells "sissy."
No, the Israelis and Palestinians weren't celebrating the 4th of July with fireworks shows; they were actually killing each other. Customs are very different here. We wait for Thanksgiving to get into those types of skirmishes at Wal-Mart.
Social Media exploded last night with the story of 5 year old Jaderian Holloway who was reported missing in Birmingham. A search was underway as dozens of “concerned people from the Internet” posted the standard “OMG, praying for this family” update … and it turns out the kid was at a relative’s house but his mom was too drunk to remember that fact. Wow. Officials say the mother does NOT have a drinking problem; she just has a problem NOT drinking.
Conservatives are crying foul because the Obama administration is suing a Wisconsin plastics company after the business fired several Hispanic and Asian employees because they could not speak English. All the employees who were fired had been on the job long enough to receive at least one "satisfactory" ANNUAL performance evaluation. Gee, if only there was a way for an employer to determine if their workers can speak enough English BEFORE they hired them. You could call it a "job interview." Man, my brain is on fire today!
And a few things you need to know…
It was on this date in 1796, the first U.S. passport was issued. Since driver's licenses weren't around yet, it was the only place you could get a really bad picture of yourself.
On THIS date in 1911, Nan Jane Aspinwall became the first woman to cross the U.S. on horseback, which is much easier than on horse tummy.
The Census Bureau says that more than two thirds of all Baby-Boomers are overweight or obese. In fact, they say that half of all Baby-Boomers make up 2/3's of them.
Let’s open a Kickstarter request dedicated to stopping people from asking us to donate to their Kickstarter. One guy has racked up thousands of dollars for his Kickstarter to make potato salad. Hey, if people want to throw away money for a gag, let’s get in on the ground floor! I’ll do a Kickstarter to make pie, I know nothing about making pie. Or, let’s open a store called Kick Start Mart where you don’t pay money for a product – you pay money and then get enthusiastic email updates for the next three years about how production has been delayed.
Paul McCartney is back performing after taking 2 months off to recover from a nasty virus. The illness was so severe and difficult to live with; Paul dubbed it the “Heather" virus.
The Chicago White Sox held a free “white rain poncho night” promotion, but when it did rain, and everybody put on their white ponchos, it looked like the world's largest Ku Klux Klan meeting. The guy who came up with that terrible idea? He goooone!!!*
And … The annual Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain, is underway this week. Easily-preventable injury reports to come! Oddly enough, the Running of the Bulls is STILL slightly safer than braving the mall for back-to-school shopping.
*Isn’t that what they say when a baseball guy makes a big hit?