LMN 8-8-14 Here's a catchy title
by Lisa Mason
posted Aug 8 2014 8:22AM
BREAKING NEWS! The long feud is over! There will be no future fighting now that peace has been established. Paris Hilton Tweeted that her 8 year long spat with Kim Kardashian is over. It’s your move Israel and Palestinians. If Paris and Kim can talk terms, what’s stopping you?
Not only is Hawaii dealing with the first hurricanes in 22 years, yesterday they suffered a 4.3 earthquake. So, it's official. "Hawaii Five-0" has been downgraded to "Hawaii 4.3." Okay, that joke was criminally bad. Book me, Danno.
Israel is defending themselves against criticisms that too many civilians have been killed in the latest dust-up in Gaza, saying that Hamas uses Palestinian civilians as "human shields." Well, that's a move forward. At least one side is conceding that the other side is even "human." Baby steps! Meanwhile, the cease fire in Gaza is over – guess everyone had time successfully reload.
The White House says that they have powerful tools at their disposal to discipline Russia diplomatically for not acting in good faith on the world stage. Powerful tools? That's a completely disrespectful way to refer to Obama and Vice President Biden!
People in Russia are concerned President Vladimir Putin’s ban on U.S. agricultural imports will take them back to the days when they had to stand in long bread lines. Putin told the complainy-pants to tighten their belts. Now they're standing in the line for belts.
It will be nearly two more weeks before half a dozen Tuskegee University students will be able to return from Liberia. They’ve been stranded there thanks to travel restrictions due to the deadly Ebola outbreak. You’d think anyone with ties to Tuskegee would know to stay away from heinously infectious diseases.
And a few things you need to know …
On this date in 1888, the revolving door was patented. Until then, companies with high turnover had to use regular doors.
On this date in 1876, Thomas A. Edison received a patent for his invention, the mimeograph. Copy that. If you're old enough to remember what that was, you might remember how the sheets smelled.
The FDA is warning that there could be some health risks with tattoo ink. Expect a disclaimer written on your lower back.
Dreamworks announced this week that they're planning to release "Madagascar 4" in May of 2018. Joe Biden asked, "Madagascar the continent, Madagascar the country, Madagascar the island or Madagascar the movie?" Meanwhile, 20the Century Fox/Dreamworks also announced more sequels, "The Croods," "Puss in Boots," "Captain Underpants" and "Hitman." Apparently that severe drought in Southern California also extends to original ideas.
New York's Museum of Natural History held an adult sleepover last week. It’s rather sad that the only way to get Americans to go to a museum is to recreate Ben Stiller movies.
Buffalo is getting ready to host the National Scrabble Championship this weekend. I love Scrabble; it’s the only game where someone will fight tooth and nail to convince you that Gloopaglottimus is a word.
And … NFL football is back! Last night it was the Patriots vs the Team Who Can’t Be Named. It’s been so long since I’ve seen American football, I couldn’t figure out why the players were using their hands.