Lisa Mason's Morning News (9-24-13) No one gets the Halloween 3 reference.
by Lisa Mason
posted Sep 24 2013 7:51AM
Witnesses say the terrorists inside Nairobi’s Westgate Mall were asking people to name the mother of the Prophet Muhammad, if they could not then they were shot. Man! This is the harshest version of Cash Cab ever!* President Obama says the US will stand with Kenya in the aftermath of the mall attack. I hope all of his relatives made it out OK. The death toll stands at 62. Over 175 were wounded, including 5 Americans. Americans were also among the attackers. Figures, take Americans to an exotic location with exciting things to do and we’ll hang out in a food court. On a lighter note, the hottest-selling Christmas toy at the Nairobi mall is Bullet-Proof Elmo.
Speaking at the UN today, President Obama says he's not worried if Congress votes down U.S. action in Syria. He'll just pay for the airstrikes by getting on Craigslist and selling all the stuff the IRS confiscated from conservative groups
Vice President Joe Biden visited Colorado to view flood damage. Because Colorado hasn’t suffered enough. Floods then snow then Biden … maybe those Doomsday plague theorists were right!
6 more days till Obamacare!** Even opponents of the Affordable Care Act admit it IS going to help the overall health of Americans. Thanks to backlogs, software issues and no definite plan in place, many Americans don’t DARE get sick.
There's another possibility that the federal government could shut down. I hope they'll let us know, so we can tell the difference. The Left is accusing Republicans of “brinksmanship” after they agreed to raise the debt ceiling to avoid a government shutdown but demand that Obamacare be defunded in return. Republicans responded to the taunts with, “Oh yeah? Well so’s your mom.”
What’s for dinner in Alabama? Corn. Lots of it. Farmers are harvesting what they say will be a record corn crop. Corn: it’s the new black.
A hot mic caught president Obama admitting he hasn’t had a cigarette in years only because he’s scared of his wife. Maybe we should let MICHELLE talk to the UN today then? No wonder he can’t multitask, he’s been having withdrawals.
Live in Jefferson County? Your sewer rates are going up this November. A lot of customers feel they’re having to pay for bad deals that they had no say in and didn’t get to vote upon. Yep. Pretty much. That’s a problem that can be solved by a concept called “voting.”
Mobile police say an 11-year-old girl was wounded by a stray bullet while she was watching television inside her house. Hasn’t the family seen the PSA’s? “Get out and pay, an hour a day! That’ll keep the gunfire away!”
It took German hackers only 1-weekend to unlock iPhone's new fingerprint recognition program. They used a photo of an iPhone user’s finger, a mold, wood glue and a home printer. The hackers are charged with invasion of privacy and impersonating MacGyver. I like the fingerprint recognition feature. Some days it’s the only recognition I get.
And a few things you need to know…
On this day in 1968, the TV "60 Minutes" debuted. They've taken that one-hour show and made it last 45 years! This is not to be confused with sitting and talking with Joe Biden for an hour, which will seem to last 45 years.
In 1852, a new invention -- the dirigible -- was introduced. Up until then, large objects filled with gas only ran for public office. If it weren't for the dirigible, Led Zeppelin would have been called something else.
"The Voice" is now China's number one TV show. It’s not because of the singing, it’s because the judges are allowed to give opinions without being arrested and beaten.
West Hollywood has voted to ban the sale of fur. It's causing quite a furor. So they banned fur but you can still buy leather? That’ll teach those cows not to be fluffy enough!
Hockey players received 201-minutes of penalty time after several fights during a meaningless NHL preseason game. Wait -- my mistake. That was just an episode of "The Five."
This is banned books week, a week designed to stress the importance of everyone's freedom to read ANY book. Librarians statewide say it is important to recognize these literary works and encourage everyone to read them this week. I say if you don’t have time to read them THIS week, maybe read them this weekend between football games. I did this story on the air during this morning’s show and received the following Facebook Message (here’s a cut and paste), “ Did u really just tell ppl to read baned books? U R irresponcable. Those books were baned for a reason so it sets a bad example when U tell our kids to read things they shouldn’t ought to.”
As a response I corrected the spelling, grammar and sent the message back to the sender. Stay in school. Read a book.
*Probably should have made that “Final Jeopardy”