Lisa Mason's Morning News (9-9-13) The Fashion Week Edition!
by Lisa Mason
posted Sep 9 2013 8:11AM
Are you ready for some ridiculous styles you’ll never wear? New York Fashion Week runs through this Thursday. And it couldn’t come early enough for the Obama administration. Finally, there are people in the front pages who look as ridiculous as the White House foreign policy team. In spite of the president's promises, there were still boots on the ground. Very very fierce boots that are all the rage for Fall. If you don’t know, 2013 Fashion Week unveils the 2014 spring collections. I know Bradley Manning is planning on changing his wardrobe. FYI – definitive red lines are soooooooo 2012.
President Obama is now asking congress to approve a drone strike, just to send a strong message to Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian. Funny old world this is. Syrian President Bashar al-Assad says he didn’t use chemical weapons on his people. US Secretary of State John Kerry says he did … and we’re undecided on whom we should believe.
The 2020 Olympics will be held in Tokyo! Tokyo beat out Istanbul* and Madrid after making the case that their city would be “safer” for tourists. Unrest in the Middle East, Africa and daily bickering in Europe led Olympic officials to agree that Tokoyo was the safest bet. Plus there’s the added bonus that all of that contaminated water from the Fukushima Nuclear Plant will give everyone mutant super powers! Finally, scramming is an Olympic sport.
A local gym, SWATS (it stands for “Sports With Alternatives To Steroids) is charged with over 260 counts of deceptive trade practices after claiming their products can do everything from reduce cancer risks to grow new brain cells. If SWATS claims the product will grow new brain cells it should have been tested on the 2013 Alabama Legislative Session.
Police in the Maldives have detained and locked up … a coconut. They suspected it was being used to disrupt a presidential election. The coconut was covered in writing linked to voodoo and was found close to a polling station. The coconut was freaking people out, so police locked it up. Now if they could just arrest some pie ingredients. Incidents like this are why the Maldives doesn’t have it’s own off sooin-off of COPS. A coconut doesn’t take off it’s shirt and holler “what did I do” when it’s crack is confiscated as it’s being thrown into the back of a squad car. Or does it???
And a few things you need to know…
On this date in 1839, John Herschel took the very first glass plate photograph. Why anyone would want a picture of a glass plate is beyond me but there ya go.
It was on this date back in 1998 that UN researchers announced that 16.5 percent of Americans lived in poverty. Hard to remember back when it was that low.
Chaz Bono is walking around 70-pounds lighter these days. He's not the same man that he became.
"Boardwalk Empire" season 4 premiered last night. It's great to see violence on a Sunday night that can't be flagged for unnecessary roughness.
A school district in Little Rock, Arkansas has announced plans for a dress code that will require teachers to wear underwear. They’ve also added a new job position, the "Director of Checking."
And … a new study says monkeys suffer from hair loss. Well, maybe now monkeys can baldly go where no monkeys have gone before.
*Now it’s Constantinople.