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Lisa Mason in the Morning

 

Lisa's Morning News (10-2-13) Have a Holly Jolly Shutdown!

by Lisa Mason posted Oct 2 2013 8:06AM
Question: is the FCC affected by the shutdown? This could be important, given my show this morning.

Lawmakers coming together to find a solution to the Shutdown is now about as likely as Vladimir Putin sitting through "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2." Shutdown Day 2, and no negotiations took place last night. You know, if I had a car that would only go left or right and never forward, I’d get rid of it. The White House, worried that President Obama will be forced to cancel his Asia trip, isn’t getting much sympathy from people worried they’ll be forced to cancel things like dinner and power bills. The Shutdown forced the closure of U.S. National Parks. Which is bad news ... until you consider that the ground on which the White House sits is considered a National Park. Many Americans are upset the Smithsonian is now closed. Big deal. The only interesting stuff going on in there happens at night when Ben Stiller is filming.  Many are wondering how the Government shutdown in the first place. Did they even try hitting CTRL+ALT+DEL? Or turning it off then back on again?

A group of World War 2 veterans were told they were not allowed at the World War II memorial in  DC because  it was closed due to the Shutdown. The group, led by the Mississippi Gulf Coast Honor Flight, moved the barricades and went in anyway. It was just like Normandy – except they were MORE ticked off this time.  Thanks to the WWII generation for continuing bada$$ery in the face of lunacy.

Alabamians experienced delays trying to log onto the federal government's health insurance marketplace website. Visitors got error messages citing heavy traffic and site unavailability. This is working so well thus far, when’s Obamacaid start?

The people who make such predictions say the price of gas should go down around 30-cents a gallon by Christmas. Now if only we can hold off filling up till then.

Look! A serious story! The sign up for Toys for Tots is going on NOW. Every year my radio station has been a part of this program and every year I get calls from parents asking how to get their kids into the program but by then it’s too late. Toysfortots.org has info; you can also apply at any YMCA in the greater Birmingham area. Santa’s got a lot to do so if you have or know of a child who needs to be on his list, then please don’t wait to sign up.

And a few things you need to know …

On this date in 1608, the telescope was invented ... by that creepy guy next door. He said it was for the stars and planets and such, but we know better. 

In 1956, the very first atomic-powered clock started up and kept glowing and glowing and glowing.

On this date in 1862, tin cans with key openers were invented. They were much more popular than the cans with the combination locks.

Sting turns 62 today. Avoid his birthday party. His tantric version of "Happy Birthday" song goes on for hours. 

It's Tiffany's 42nd birthday today. The singer, famous for her song, "I Think We're Alone Now," actually is. #MarcHammond knows this. 

Holy crap! A study by the University of Vienna says 86% of church holy water contains unacceptable levels of fecal matter. Wow! I'd expect that in water-boarding water, but HOLY water? So much for cleanliness being next to Godliness.  But this isn’t an issue; once you turn the water into wine the alcohol kills all that stuff.

The TV show "Cops" is getting a new name, trying to appeal to younger audiences. They should totally go with "How I Met Your Mugger.”

And ... short news today since I’ve got to get Hera Mason to her first day of Doggy School! I hope she’s not embarrassed to be seen with me around the other dogs. Hera already knows tricks and commands, but you can just SEE this dog ignoring you if there’s playtime* involved. I’ve been reading up on canine body language and found this: a happy dog wags its tail to the left. Canadian Scientists did a study and found that 56% of dogs, who confidently approached a test subject, wagged their tails to the left. Only 21% approached without hesitation when its tail wagged to the right.  Ok --  Is it my left or the dog's left? How do we know??  

*Or anything else.

 

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Location : Birmingham
10/02/2013 8:06AM
Lisa's Morning News (10-2-13) Have a Holly Jolly Shutdown!
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