February 28, 2015
5:03 pm

Lisa Mason in the Morning


Lisa's Morning News "It's Fun Sized!"

by Lisa Mason posted Oct 29 2013 8:10AM
Thanks to those who expressed deep concern over Hera Mason’s lack of a Halloween costume this year. I bought her this little pumpkin hat since it’s too late to order a costume online (without paying $30 in shipping). The hat was reportedly delicious and thanks to the glitter, my yard is now sparkly. 
There is no good idea that cannot be made utterly illogical than by putting it through a committee. The House meetings on Obamacare continue today with the Medicare chief on the grill. The Senate Intelligence Committee will soon begin hearings on the NSA leaks that have US allies completely ticked off. Germany is especially angry at the spying, wiretaps and eavesdropping. Hey, they started 2 World Wars, so let’s just call it an ounce of prevention, ja?
The White House has admitted it knew three years ago that millions of Americans would lose their health coverage due to Obamacare, even though President Obama promised that you could keep your plan and your doctor.  Americans are as outraged at this lie as they are about Benghazi. Which is to say: we’ll roll over and take it because, meh.
What did we buy? Some Birmingham City Councilors want documentation of money spent for last weekend’s Council-sponsored concert and reception in Railroad Park. Councilwoman Lashunda Scales organized both events. Maybe giving an open wallet to someone with 6 felony ethics indictments should raise more red flags than a stiff breeze in Gulf Shores?
Russian President Vladimir Putin says that at the Sochi Olympics next year,, gays, lesbians and transgendered people will all be welcome to come. They can't leave, but they can come.  
Former Vice President Dick Cheney tells CNN he's cheated death at least 3-times. For my liberal friends ... Cheney cheated everybody in Florida during the 2000 Presidential Election, why not death too? How exactly did Cheney cheat death so often? Apparently, the NSA was tapping the Grim Reaper's phone calls.  You know what this means? There were at least three moments when George W. Bush was THIS close to actually becoming president!
Taylor Farms is recalling bags of their broccoli salad and slaw due to a listeria threat. Need a day off work with a crippling illness? Grab a bag. No illnesses have been reported in Alabama, mainly because the recall involves broccoli, not Twinkies.
Block seating is again safe for student organizations at the University of Alabama. The University says it’s pleased with attendance through the entirety of the Tennessee game and that therefore the guard towers will not be manned during this Saturday’s game.  The concertina wire and sentry guns will, however, remain indefinitely. 
And a few things you need to know …
This day in 1911, American newspaperman Joseph Pulitzer died in Charleston, SC. Big deal. What does he want? An award named after him?
On this date in 1833, the very first college fraternity was formed. I believe it was a chapter of Tappa Kegga Brew. Or was it Grabba Hunka Thigh? Frankly, it was all Greek to me.
Did you see this mess? Dallas Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant went ballistic on the sidelines during the Cowboys loss to the Lions on Sunday. I'm guessing Bryant's chill-pills must come in bottles with jerk-proof lids. 
Former "Dancing with the Stars" dancer Julianne Hough is still apologizing for dressing up in blackface at a Halloween party. In her defense, she wore blackface and an orange jumpsuit. She was obviously going as Chris Brown.
6 champion Belgian racing pigeons have tested positive for performance enhancing drugs. Did you know that pigeons have a brain the size of a lima bean? In fact, that's why they're called pigeons. The word "CONGRESS" was already taken.
He may be disabled, but Georgia's Walter Serpit wasn't about to let a fire destroy his prize possession! Mr. Serpit, who walks with a cane, made sure all eight members of his family were safely out of his burning home before risking his life to retrieve a case of Bud Light. Some say Mr. Serpit has his priorities wrong. Yeah, he should have gone for the Bud Light first.
And … The Butterball Hotline starts next week.  But if you want to talk about a big turkey today, just call the ObamaCare Toll Free number.
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10/29/2013 8:11AM
Lisa's Morning News "It's Fun Sized!"
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