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Lisa's Morning News 11-21-13 Lowering Expectations since 6:05 AM!

by Lisa Mason posted Nov 21 2013 7:23AM
President Obama said “It’s OK to extend insurance plans that were cancelled because of Obamacare.” Turns out that’s only correct in theory. Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Alabama says they worked for the past 3.5 years to make their plans fit new requirements and simply can’t undo it all without consequences. BC-BS is catching flak for this but how do YOU feel when you work to complete a project, then your boss tells you “I want it to be different,” so you go back and rework everything only to eventually be told “go back to the way it was?” Next time we elect people, can we make sure they have at least the business sense of little Jimmy down the street with the lemonade stand?
 
Health officials are out with new warnings about detergent pods. Kids are eating them and getting sick. I don’t know how these kids are raised but my parents almost never kept candy under the kitchen sink. Almost. The real problem with pods is that we are lazy and they’re more expensive than just measuring detergent like we used to. And I love them.
 
Florida Congressman Trey Radel is on a leave of absence after getting busted for buying cocaine from an undercover cop in DC. Wow, times must be hard if the DC cops are resorting to selling coke.  You’d think Radel could have just waited till he got back to Florida where you can get a contact high just by licking a $20 bill.
 
She’s recovering and back at work, but Democratic New York Congresswoman Grace Meng, was hit over the head and robbed Tuesday night near Capitol Hill. Meng said the whole experience changed her, and she may not be as quick to vote for redistributing other people's property in the future.
 
Don’t look for any JFK news here tomorrow. It’s the 50th Anniversary of his assassination and the only other way to avoid coverage of it is to move to a volcano in Vanuatu. I have nothing against JFK except for this: way back in grade school, Ms. Williams asked the class, “Can anyone tell me what’s so special about today?” I hopped up and answered, “It’s my birthday!” She said, no that wasn’t it. I insisted it was. Ms. Williams then announced “Today is special because its the anniversary of the assignation of President Kennedy.” I’m miffed at this point and say, “Well, is HIS mom bringing cupcakes during lunch?” Yeah. That’s a trip to the principal.   
 
And … a few things you need to know.
 
On this date in 1877, Thomas Edison announced his invention of "the talking machine," better known as the phonograph. These days he would have called it the iPhoneograph.  
 
On this date in 1942, the Alaska Highway opened in Canada. Ironically, on the same day, the Canadian Highway opened up in Alaska. 
 
A Costco store in Simi Valley, California, is apologizing after several Bibles they were selling had the word "fiction" written on the price tag. I don't know how they get away with this.  Bibles are labeled as "fiction," but they're still selling hot dogs in the "meat" section. How is this possible?
 
A new education study finds that cheating students are more likely to want government jobs. So, remember kids: study and get good grades, or you could end up in congress!
 
Cleaning attendants on an airline flight from Bangkok found 24-gold bars left in one of the plane's toilets. The cleaning personnel said that they couldn't believe it when they found the 20-gold bars, and that they hoped all 15 would get back to their rightful owner.
 
And … The surviving members of "Monty Python," John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Terry Gilliam and Michael Palin are reuniting. It will be a refreshing change laughing at a Palin who intentionally says something funny. This is the Holy Grail of reunions! All of the boys are in … except Graham Chapman, who died in 1989. Although Chapman claims he's not dead yet and that he's getting better.
 
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Topics : Human Interest
11/21/2013 7:23AM
Lisa's Morning News 11-21-13 Lowering Expectations since 6:05 AM!
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11/21/2013 1:23PM
Cupcakes for lunch?
Epic. I can almost see the whole thing unfolding in my head. Little Lisa Mason stomping her foot and insisting "it is TOO my birthday!" This explains why birthdays are ruined for you forever... Darn you, JFK!
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