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Lisa Mason in the Morning

 

Lisa's Morning News 11-25-13 WINTER IS COMING-- oh wait. It's already here.

by Lisa Mason posted Nov 25 2013 7:46AM
Mother Nature answers the question, “Could holiday travel be any worse” with a resounding yes. A massive storm, upon which 8 deaths have been blamed, is currently forcing hundreds of flight cancellations in Texas. We’re expected to get a bit of “milk and bread” weather ourselves, so shelters have opened in many communities to keep the homeless from turning into povertysickles. So all you people outside the Fultondale Best buy – there’s a place where you can find heat, blankets and a hot meal. Oh. They’re already waiting on the store to open Thanksgiving Day. Maybe it’s just me but it’s so odd that we’ve got shelters open for the homeless, yet people with houses have already left their homes to get in line for the sales. Maybe we could work out an exchange program?
 
Christmas? PANIC! It’s now one month away, but first we have to get through Thanksgiving and Black Friday. In case you’re foreign or have been in a coma; the day after Thanksgiving is "Black Friday." Or as Paula Deen calls Black Friday ... actually, I can't tell you what Paula Deen calls it.  Anyway, Richard Simmons is going to make an appearance at the Macey’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Please don’t let him wear those uber short-shorts. They only giblets I want to see Thursday are on my plate.   
 
AAA says fewer people will be traveling this Thanksgiving week. I don't know. I was just outside and I saw a lot of people leaving the Democratic Party. Meanwhile, a recent study of traffic data by the University of Alabama predicts the days near Christmas this year will likely be more dangerous on the roadways than around other holidays. No kidding.
 
The Norwegian Army is going meatless on Mondays. Perfect, now we know which day to invade.
 
A German study has identified five different types of boredom. There are three more, besides my morning show and news blog.
 
Canberra, Australia has set the world record for Christmas lights. Not fair! It Australia. In a nation where everything is trying to kill you, you NEED the extra light to see it all coming. Box jellyfish, ALL of the deadliest snakes, bird-eating spiders, stingrays, baby-sealing dingoes and sharks with lasers. Australia is awesome but it can get rough. You know the difference between an Aussie wedding and an Aussie funeral? One less drunk will be at the funeral.
 
And a few things you need to know …
 
On this date in 1758, during the French and Indian Wars, the British captured Fort Duquesne at what is now Pittsburgh. So, technically speaking, the British were the first stealers in town.
 
Yesterday was the 50th anniversary of the death of Lee Harvey Oswald. An excuse to keep running Kennedy footage.  
 
Katy Perry is being called racist because during her performance at the AMA’s, she worse a Chinese dress with a Japanese style wig. Really scraping the bottom of the “legitimate complaint” barrel here, aren’t we?
 
The Fox channel in Japan is attempting to break a Guinness Book Record by running an uninterrupted, 10-day "NCIS" marathon. Or, as "NCIS" is known in Japan, "Round-Eye Sailor Boys Spy You Long Time."
 
Happy being single but tired of your friends and family nagging you about settling down? There's an app for that! The new "Invisible Girlfriend" app provides phone calls, voicemails, random gifts and even a Facebook relationship. It’s about $10 bucks a month for the service. The "Invisible Boyfriend" app is in development, but will be more expensive as it requires a staff to come to your home, leave dirty socks BESIDE the hamper, fail to flush or put the seat down, and forget your anniversary.
 
And … Even if you live on a cul-de-sac, you have to admit Christmas is right around the corner. Churches planning live nativity scenes in Washington D.C. say they may have to go out of the area in order to find Three Wise Men.
 
Filed Under :
Topics : Human Interest
11/25/2013 7:45AM
Lisa's Morning News 11-25-13 WINTER IS COMING-- oh wait. It's already here.
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