Lisa's Morning News 12-12-13 I know, the scrolling is getting annoying.
by Lisa Mason
posted Dec 12 2013 8:10AM
It's Friday the 13th Eve! Do you open your bad luck tonight or wait till the morning?
That Sign Language interpreter next to President Obama at Nelson Mandela’s memorial says he’s not a fake – he was signing gibberish only because he was hallucinating and hearing things. It’s ok man, a lot of Americans have that same experience during Obama’s speeches. The interpreter was paid 85 bucks to do the job, so you do get what you pay for. At one point during his signing, the interpreter mistakenly told Bill Clinton to “steal second base.” Officials later had to pry Bill’s hands away from Prime Minister Thorning-Schmidt’s chest.
Nick Saban has a verbal offer that would make him the highest paid coach in college football – and it’s from Alabama. Granted, Saban has yet to seal the deal. He’s waiting to see if any sweet Sign Language interpreter gigs open up.
Time Magazine has chosen Pope Francis as their 2013 Person of the Year. I wonder who he’s going to bring as a date to the awards ceremony? Not surprising that Papa Francis won, since the Popemobile was named the Motor Trend Magazine’s Car of the Year. In a related story, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has been named High Times Magazine Person of the Year.
A study says that people who can ignore texts or calls on their cellphone are likely to be more contented. They're also more likely to be late, uninformed and friendless.
Major flaws have been found in the government's plan to protect whales from sonar used by the U.S. Navy. Environmentalists claim sonar disorients whales, but it also prevents "The Biggest Loser" contestants from finding the cookie/frosting aisle.
Along those lines, the FDA is under fire for hiding evidence that antibiotics may be a primary cause for America’s growing obesity. The FDA says the evidence was easy to hide behind all those tubby Americans.
The French win in the contest of crazy fast food lovers. In Paris, a 26-year-old man pulled an ax on a McDonald's drive-thru attendant because his fries were cold. Police caught up to the anger ball and, oui, he surrendered to them. It’s rather ironic that the French government fought tooth and nail to stop McDonald’s from opening in Paris … a lot harder than they did against the Nazis. Kidding aside, I did want to offer congrats to France for their lovely new flag design. It's a white cross on a white background.
And a few things you need to know…
On this day in 1818 Mary Todd Lincoln was born. If you're curious; no, she did not enjoy the play.
On this date in 1917, Boys Town was founded. Since Jerry Sandusky could be reading, I won’t say where.
A report says that a child is taken to the ER every hour for an accident involving a high chair. You'd think the parents would get that high chair fixed.
A man in China jumped 7-stories to his death at a shopping mall. Before he jumped he said it was because he couldn't face going to "just one more shoe store" with his girlfriend. Sad. Another lost sole. I’m such a heel for saying that.
Because of inflation, a cup of coffee in Russia now costs almost $8.50. Who's laughing NOW, Ed Snowden?
And … When someone asks “Where’s your Christmas spirit?” Is it wrong to point to the liquor cabinet? (I’m asking for a friend). Meanwhile, across the pond in England, Father Christmas is making children undergo a lie detector test when they are asked whether they have been naughty or nice! Kids visiting a number of shopping centers over there are tested with a polygraph before they get to see Santa. Parents say it’s a fun way to keep kids in line, but over here it would cause a lawsuit. Either way, it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! This year, instead of gifts, I’m going to give everyone my opinion! You can thank me later J