September 23, 2014
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Lisa Mason in the Morning

 

Lisa's Morning News "Spot the obscure movie reference." 11/7/13

by Lisa Mason posted Nov 7 2013 8:18AM
Twitter hits the stock market today! It starts at $26 dollars per share. The short messaging site’s public debut is the most highly anticipated since Facebook's IPO last year. What’s IPO mean? I think it stands for “It’s Over Priced.” I’m going to jump right on this like I did MySpace and Groupon! Twitter has a bird on it’s logo and Miley Cyrus uses it! I’m IN!*
 
If you missed it, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie claimed the role of GOP presidential frontrunner with his reelection. The Republican Presidential debates should be great this year. The subject of the first one will be, "Is Chris Christie actually a Republican?"
 
India has successfully launched a rocket to Mars.** It’s expected to reach the red planet next September. So your tech-support calls will take about 6 minutes to reach a customer service rep before they even know you’re calling. 
 
Speaking of space programs we don’t have … the first artist to perform in outer space will be Lady Gaga!  The pop star will perform in aboard Virgin Galactic’s SpaceShip Two. She’s hoping the next flight will be able to return her to her home planet.
 
The Tuscaloosa Department of Transportation is bracing for a traffipocalypse!  Unprecedented numbers are expected to flood Tuscaloosa and surrounding areas this weekend with record-breaking numbers for Saturday’s Bama/LSU game. Who decided that construction on 459 was a good idea on home game days? Yeesh. Looking for tickets? Good luck.  There's record demand, a pair of seats is selling for an average of 383 bucks. Somewhere the Eagles are suing for theft of intellectual property. Beware of scams, scalpers, and other villainy.  And whatever you do – do NOT let Saban see you leaving the game early!      
 
According to a new study, teen pregnancy in the U.S. is way down. President Obama gets the credit for this. With all the problems he’s having, teens are afraid of giving birth to someone who could grow up to become President of the United States.  
 
Cooper Green Mercy Health Services will change business hours “to help reduce a backlog of patients waiting for care.”  Yep, shortening your hours will definitely fix that!  Weekday hours will be from 7 till 7, and on the weekend from 9 till 5. Wow. They’re going to close during prime shootin’ time on Saturday night?
 
Hope they didn’t want this to be a secret or anything, but  Lockheed Martin is working on a new spy plane that will fly six times the speed of sound. That means you’ll be able to fly six times faster to avoid hearing that noise your kids are listening to.
 
And a few things you need to know …
 
On this date in 1805, Lewis and Clark first saw the Pacific Ocean. It was exactly where they expected to find it: down by the beach.   
 
Birthday today? You share it with Madame Marie Curie, born on this date in 1867. She and her husband discovered radium. Without it, we couldn't drive around on radium tires. What.
 
Having apparently already cured cancer in secret, scientists have invented a rock-paper-scissors playing robot that is able to beat humans every time. Now, to create the war version! Forget the robot, my friends with kids tell me what we REALLY need is a binky with low-jack technology.    
 
Miley Cyrus just got a tattoo of her grandmother on forearm. I guess wearing a tasteful locket with a nice photo inside is passé.
 
Blockbuster has announced its closing its remaining 300 stores. I'm shocked, shocked! There were still 300 Blockbusters around?   
 
Rumors are flying that Rand Paul plagiarized one of his speeches. In response, Paul said, "It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done," whatever that means.
 
In the wake of the announcement that the gang from "Duck Dynasty" will ride in a float in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, also comes announcements that there's a new line of "Duck Dynasty" inspired home furnishings, football helmets and even wines. What's the proper vintage to serve with road kill? I hope the "Duck Dynasty" crew knows what they're doing. I'd just hate to see them get overexposed.
 
Harrison Ford says he’s all about doing both another "Star Wars" movie and coming back as Indiana Jones. Some wonder if Harrison is still up to those 5:00 am shooting schedules. Hey, he’s 71-years-old. He's up at 12:30, 2:00 and 3:45, being up at 5:00 am should be no problem.
And … They’re saying this is the peak week to view the “glorious colours of Fall in Alabama.” Usually our “glorious colours of Fall” are leaves that turn instantly from green to brown, but this year it’s actually looking good! There are other signs it’s officially Autumn; Nick Saban is talking about leaving, baseball finally, finally is over, NBC is about to cancel 3 more shows and you'd swear it never even got light today
 
*BTW- you can follow me on Twitter @Lisamasonic
 
**“That’s the PLANET, Mars.”

 
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