Lisa's Morning News What ELSE are we missing?
by Lisa Mason
posted May 14 2014 8:25AM
First the plane, then 300 schoolgirls, now radio icon Casey Kasem is missing. I’d like to make a long-distance dedication to Casey and his wife, who reportedly spirited him out of the country: “Find Your Way Back” by Jefferson Starship?
Karl Rove is stepping away from a claim he made that Hillary Clinton shouldn’t be president because she's got brain damage caused by a blood clot. Rove was then reminded that Dick Cheney had so many blood clots when he was vice president, every year at Daylight Savings time, Rove had to help Cheney turn his clots ahead 1-hour.*
So both Keith Crisco and H.R. Giger died “from injures” after “a fall.” Just what is Clay Aiken up to? Does he want a congressional seat or does he want to be a Swiss surrealist?
A man who called himself "God," was arrested hours after he rammed his truck through the front entrance of the ABC TV affiliate in Baltimore. I guess some people are really upset about Barbara Walters leaving "The View."
I see no reason to keep talking about the 249th draft pic, but one thing's for sure about the upcoming NFL season; the "Kiss Cam" is going to be a lot more interesting than last year.
We now know Solange Knowles attacked Jay Z in that elevator because he planned to attend Rihanna's Met Gala after-party without Beyoncé. Escalating matters, Solange had several “non-famous” friends show up! This just isn’t juicy enough for me, somebody write some fan-fiction.
The Chicago Cubs lost their 10,000th game this week. After the game, the Cubs received a congratulatory phone call from that team that always loses to the Harlem Globetrotters.
While some are attempting to paint this as a major storm, just over 1,000 Alabamians have registered with FEMA for storm assistance. FEMA individual assistance is available for nine counties: Jefferson, Tuscaloosa, Blount, Etowah, Baldwin, DeKalb, Lee, Limestone and Mobile. No mention of Marion County, where forecasters raved on for 15 minutes about a tornado touchdown while we in the B’ham Metro were left wondering if we were still even in the coverage area.
And a few things you need to know …
On this date in 1643, Louis XIV became King of France at age four. The first thing he ordered was to extend the royal bedtime.
On this date in 1796, the first smallpox vaccine was administered. They wanted to prevent the outbreak, before they turned into medium pox.
On this date in 1811, Paraguay became independent from Bolivia. They told their leader, Juan Para to just go and form his own country... and when they said, "Para, go 'way," the rest was history.*
The undisputed god of flannel shirts, George Lucas turns 70 today. Man, can you just imagine the special effects on his birthday cake?
AT & T is trying to buy Direct TV. They hope the deal comes together today or Thursday sometime between 9am and 5pm.
A History Channel explorer claims he's found the wreckage of the Santa Maria. I’m horrified at the number of people who in the 21st Century do not know of the Santa Maria outside of Rage Against the Machine’s “Sleep Now with My Fire.” Anyway, some guy with a new series says it's underneath only 15-feet of water. Well underneath that, and thousands of plastic bottles, fishing nets, cigarette butts, cast-off flip-flips and printer ink cartridges.
A study sponsored by a British hotel chain shows that people who sleep on the left side of the bed are more cheerful and better workers than those grumps who sleep on the right. More than 75 percent of those surveyed said it would feel really strange to sleep on the other side of the bed. Really? It’s not unchartered territory with a sign reading, “HERE THERE BE DRAGONS!” Here’s the thing; how do you tell what side of the bed you sleep on? If you’re looking at the bed standing in front of it – the right side is on a different side than if you are standing behind the bed. HOW DO WE KNOW FOR SURE IF WERE DOING IT RIGHT? Of course, if you have a dog, there IS no side of the bed for you since you’ll end up sleeping diagonally and fighting for your pillow back.
And then we have the gentleman who got a tattoo on his leg of the KFC Double Down sandwich. Apparently, as he gets older, he wants to remember what killed him.
And… If you stole the toilet from a West Seattle Subway restaurant, police would like a word with you. After his family left him in the restaurant, a man made off with a toilet tank. What, was this guy a desperate remodeler? I know everyone hates those aggravating low-flow toilets but come ON! Subway says the toilet tank is worth $550. Seriously? You can buy a tank at Lowe’s for $200! Where does Subway shop, the Pentagon?
*Hope you packed a lunch for that.
Filed Under :
Barbara Walters, Casey Kasem, Clay Aiken, Dick Cheney, George Lucas, H.R. Giger, Hillary Clinton, Juan Para, Karl Rove, Keith Crisco, Rihanna, Solange Knowles