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Ricky A

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LMN 1-20-15 Ebola’s back. Someone wake up the Czar.

LMN 1-20-15 Ebola’s back. Someone wake up the Czar.

LMN 1-20-15 Ebola’s back. Someone wake up the Czar.

Oh dear, the deadline has long passed for Jordan to cave to demands from ISIS. Now we’re grimly waiting for news. In a related story, The Al-Jazeera channel is airing a new show called "Sharia Law & Order," with stories on be-headings ripped right from the be-headlines.

An ex-scientist from the Los Alamos Nuclear Weapons Lab got 5 years in prison for offering to supply Venezuela with nukes. 80 year old Pedro Mascheroni says he was going to “gain money and power.” He has a bit of an ego problem; probably from all the teasing he got in school when other kids constantly called him “Mascheroni and Cheese.”

Hey remember Ebola? It’s baaack! A patient at UC Davis Medical Center in northern California is being tested for the virus after showing symptoms. Health officials aren’t saying from where the patient came, or how much contact it had with the outside world – let us just hope doctors found a cure for stupidity because of those imbecilic people wandering around Dallas and New York so we don’t end up with another Ebo-la-la-palooza tour. I’m completely gob-smacked that no one has sponsored an Ebola-awareness 5K already.

The tense border area between Israel and Lebanon appeared eerily quiet all Thursday. No fire was traded between Israel and Hezbollah fighters, where 24 hours earlier it was an all-out war zone. It was almost as if someone found the Lebanon-and-off switch!

Dubai International Airport has overtaken London's Heathrow as the top international airport in the world. That’s weird because half the people in Dubai are on the no-fly list.

And a few things you need to know …

On this date in 1847, the California town of Yerba Buena changed its name to San Francisco. Because "I left my heart in Yerba Buena" just didn't have the same ring to it.

The average American is expected to consume 2,400 calories during the Super Bowl! Meanwhile, doctors are preparing for an influx of illnesses on Monday after everyone spends Sunday sharing germs because nasty people double-dip at Super Bowl parties.

The Obama administration wants to make it illegal to operate a drone while intoxicated. Mothers Against Drunk Droning support the idea.

Somebody has created a new alert system that will let you know if your baby is drowning. I thought we already HAD such an alert system; EYES. Good grief people we’re getting too dumb.

And … word is Amazon.com’s sales are the lowest ever. Hang on, I’ll fix that singlehandedly in 3…2… (PLACE ORDER) Boom.. You’re welcome Amazon.
 Update on the story I had yesterday wherein Denise was trying to find a guy named Michael she met at a concert in Tuscaloosa. We have a lead! Actually, we may have found him already. If this guy isn’t the “right” Michael … Denise should still give him her number because #Hot. I’m waiting to hear back from all the parties involved. Behold the power of the Eagle! They should put us in charge of finding all of those terror suspects they can’t find. We’d have everything solved in 4 minutes! 

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